A Right Turn

I reversed my walk this morning.

When I walk the dog, I typically take the same route. Out of our driveway, turn left, veer left through the park and up to the upper edges of the neighborhood and back from the other direction.

Today, I turned right instead.

My heart and head have been in a very complacent, quiet place lately. Neither one seems to want to work very hard. Neither one seems to have much to say. They both want to rest a little. Think a little. But not too much. Just relax.

It’s nice in a lot of ways. Learning to ease up on the pressure to produce, to constantly be in motion. Allowing oneself to just be and accomplish what you can and want to, without the guilt of what’s left behind. It’s freeing to not look to tomorrow or the next day all the time and to realize that sometimes good enough isn’t just enough, it can be everything. It’s been nice in a lot of ways.

But today, I took a right instead. I wanted to walk a new path. I wanted to see the flowers from a different angle, run into different people, feel the wind from a new direction. I think that when you ease up too much for too long, you can get too relaxed. Too tired. Too unmotivated. And I think that’s where I am. It was nice in a lot of ways and now it’s time to look ahead with a fresh set of eyes. Well-rested eyes.

I am sure there will still be days ahead of me where I turn left. I know that a period of mental and emotional rest is good for me and I hope to revisit it here and there when I need to. But now I am ready to revisit that other part of me that feels alive and motivated and driven and awake. To look for new challenges and revisit old ones. To write more and talk more and create more. Because there is a lot of life to live out there.

And sometimes you can find your way back to it with just one little step.

*originally posted on my essay site, What Would Raluca Do. I am going to start sharing more of that here again. Just because it feels right.