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Myra, Lola and Me

2016 September 20


Last weekend I went to a dear friend’s baby shower and met her dear friend, Myra. Myra is a working mother of two with a brand new baby. She was introduced to my blog through our mutual friend a long time ago and has been reading ever since. Myra was beyond kind, telling me how my writing entertains and inspires her, how she loves the recipes I post and the products I share because she simply doesn’t have the time or energy to go hunting things down on her own right now. Myra told me to “keep writing” when the blog’s recent silence came up. She told me it’s a voice she loves, that it feels familiar to her and comforting and gives her a dose of inspiration here and there that she needs. Myra bid farewell to my daughter (my date for the day) and I as we headed out of the shower and she told my daughter, “Your mommy is a great writer,” to which my daughter replied, filled with pride and showing off her big, toothy 9-year-old smile, “I know.”

The next day, I logged back into this space for the first time in a while and I met Lola. Lola is a new reader, or she was for a day at least when she took the time to go through a dozen or so of my past posts and leave negative comments on each one. I don’t know if Lola works or has kids or where she lives or how she came upon this space. But she didn’t like it. She doesn’t like my writing, it’s “genuinely unreflective.” She doesn’t like mommy bloggers. She doesn’t like the comments people have left on some of my essays. We are all mommy sheep. She doesn’t like the peach salad I have been eating obsessively all summer long. It’s all vapid. It’s all basic. It’s all terrible. I am just another example of a narcissist sharing her “perfectly imperfect life”…and not even sharing it well, for that matter. In Lola’s eyes, I suck. At this, that, everything. In a nutshell.

I went back to my coffee. Drip, with CoffeeMate in it. I looked around at my “perfectly imperfect” house. The basic white kitchen, the grey floors, the Pinterest-inspired fixtures. I looked at my vapid stack of magazines and paperbacks that came recommended by mom bloggers and Oprah and NPR. I looked at the bowl of peaches sitting on the island, waiting to be made into a salad. Or maybe a trendy little rustic galette. Or maybe just eaten in big chunks with my son, the way we like it, with juice running down our chins and staining our shirts. And I decided to write for Myra.

I thought of my parents and their upbringing in Romania and how they dreamed of having a life like ours. I thought of my kids and how hard we have worked to raise smart, cultured, kind people…even in the most basic of southern California suburbs. I thought of the moms and women and girls out there who want a familiar voice to remind them that sometimes, basic can be just fine. That simple pleasures are some of the best ones in life. That loving your life and feeling optimistic and sharing that with your community doesn’t make you insensitive or uneducated or banal. Or that when life isn’t worth loving, there are people out there who want to inspire and entertain and comfort…sometimes in big ways, sometimes in small. I thought of all the moms out there that give me inspiration in return – via their images, their words, their shares and their stories. I thought about how peaches and tomatoes together are a fucking great combination and that I will stand by that recipe all day long.

And I decided to write for Myra.

To give her a minute or two here and there where she can look around at her life, at the world around her, at the people in it, and to appreciate it all.

Some days it might be vapid. Some days it might be thoughtful. Some days it might be witty and some days it might not. Some days it will inspire and engage and amuse and others, it will be random and scattered and genuinely unreflective. Some day soon, it might not even be right here in this space (more to come on that…).

But wherever it falls, whatever it is, it will be here for Myra. And for my daughter, some day. And for me. And for today, I think that’s enough.

22 Responses leave one →
  1. amy permalink
    September 20, 2016

    I love your blog. Please keep at it! I check every day to see if you have a post. I don’t usually leave comments. There are many people that count on the few minutes of free time they have during the day to browse the blogs they love. They are moms that finally have a second of peace when their child is napping or they are eating their lunch at their desk at work and DO NOT want to think about work – and they don’t leave comments. That has been me at different times of my life. They are silent but they are reading!

  2. Dayna permalink
    September 20, 2016

    Screw Lola. I, like Myra, immensely enjoy your writing, your perspective, and the things you choose to share in this space. Your blog is a simple pleasure for me, in an otherwise crazy hectic life, and I thank you for that.

  3. September 20, 2016

    I love your blog. Please don’t stop. And write for Myra. Oh yes. Love her. xox

  4. Jessica permalink
    September 20, 2016

    There have been so many of your posts that u read and go “yes! That’s how I feel/think,etc”. Thank you!

  5. Bahar permalink
    September 20, 2016

    Keep writing girl!

  6. Michelle permalink
    September 20, 2016

    Your posts always seem to resonate with me! I admire your honesty and writing style. Happy to hear that you’re focusing on the positive. Thank you!

  7. Jude permalink
    September 20, 2016

    I love your writing and look forward to all your posts.
    Continue to do what you love and know that this mama greatly admires your words and your ability to share your thoughts. You truly help us all. Xoxo

  8. Colleen permalink
    September 21, 2016

    Please keep this space alive…. You are awesome!!

    • WWGD permalink*
      October 5, 2016

      Thanks, Colleen! I hope you are well!

  9. Neeha permalink
    September 21, 2016

    I have followed your blog posts, but probably never posted a comment.
    I think your writing is very genuine and I like it 🙂
    Keep writing whenever you can.


    PS: We all have Lola’s, who I think don’t deserve any of our time.

    • WWGD permalink*
      October 5, 2016

      Thanks, Neeha. And thank you for taking the time to comment, so appreciate it!

  10. September 21, 2016

    Lola sounds like she could seriously use a friend! I love your voice. And your menu plans. And your muffin recipes. And your parent musings. You do you. Love ya. xo

  11. Emily permalink
    September 23, 2016

    Yikes! Lola needs to get a life. I don’t understand people that take the time to read an entire blog they clearly don’t relate to and leave hateful comments??? Ignore her. Keep writing! And more regularly : )

    • WWGD permalink*
      October 5, 2016

      Aw, thanks! I tend to feel the same. I find lots of things that don’t resonate with me every day…and I move on from them. But everyone’s different, I suppose. Thanks for the kind words. xx

  12. September 27, 2016

    Not quite sure why Lola had to post negative comments when she is obviously not your target audience. She should go find blogs that she likes and get to know them instead of spreading negativity. No one is going to be everyone’s cup of tea. Those that resonate with you will find you and stick with reading your blog. I have been reading yours for years! Keep up the good work.

    • WWGD permalink*
      October 5, 2016

      Thank you, Heather. So appreciate you taking the time to read — and to write! xx

  13. Erin permalink
    September 29, 2016

    Great post – you are a great writer! Insightful, interesting and real! Thank you….
    Erin 🙂

  14. Kerry permalink
    September 30, 2016

    Lola is a jerk.

  15. October 4, 2016

    I have read your words for a long time, but have never commented until now. I won’t give further voice to Lola (who clearly has things of her own to work on and sort through), but I just wanted to say that simplicity and mindfulness are the ultimate REFLECTIVE acts, and the examples you share never fail to leave me with a little something I didn’t have before reading. That’s important. And I thank you.

    • WWGD permalink*
      October 5, 2016

      Thank you so much for that, April. I love the way you put it into words. xx

  16. Melissa permalink
    October 21, 2016

    You know you’ve arrived when the haters show up. Wear it like a badge of honor and please – keep writing!

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