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Something(s) About Me – Things I Am Afraid to Tell You

2012 May 25

I am sure many of you (or I should say I hope many of you) came across this wave of blog confessionals over the past month, started by Jess of Makeunder My Life. I am not sure how I stumbled upon it originally, but I was immersed in it immediately.

Bloggers of all types were penning their own personal “Things I Am Afraid to Tell You” posts, inspired by Jess, which quickly turned into an online movement that instantly moved me.

My first reaction? Inspiration. My second? Why wasn’t I invited? Ha.

So when my lovely friend Theresa from Inspiration Cooperative suggested a group of us embark on an unofficial next chapter in the journey, I immediately knew I was in.

The idea is to share things that we may not typically look to share on our blogs — what lies beyond the seasonal fashion tips, recipes, makeup must-haves and daily parenting woes — to give you a true glimpse of the person behind the words.

So here I am:

I am as equally frustrated by this whole blogging thing as I am inspired by it. I have been told my whole life that I am a “great writer” so part of me thought “if you build it, they will come,” and frankly, not enough of you have come. But I won’t give up. I love it way too much and the readers and comments I do get have such a great impact on me, it will forever be enough.

I get just as frustrated when I see mediocre blogs with sky-high followings. I want to be happy for those people as they shareΒ  their “fashion” insight that amounts to glittery TOMS shoes and not much else and misspell “their” consistently, but I am mainly just bitter.

I am scared to say no. In so many aspects of my life. I just did it this morning, for something that really won’t even matter in the grand scheme of things, and I spent half the night worrying about it.

I am self-employed and am constantly worried I won’t be able to generate enough work to support my share of our lives. Hence the “saying no” issue…

I think our lives are too expensive. I look at our monthly budget and gasp a little. But the truth is, we aren’t overly frivolous (maybe just a touch) and for now, we are making it work, so that’s that. But it will, on occasion, keep me up at night.

I am frighteningly out of shape. I try and try and try to find physical activities I will like so that I can keep them up on the regular, but after 34 years, I have yet to find one. It makes me feel like a bit of a failure that I can’t commit to my own health. But then I have a cookie and I feel better.

I am an addict with my phone and it impacts my life. My kids and husband and parents get annoyed. I can’t even watch an entire TV show without checking my phone a dozen or so times and I officially consider sitting at a red light torture if my phone is not within arm’s reach. It’s disgusting.

I don’t see the glass half full. I am basically always worrying about something, and when I am not, I worry about everything being too perfect. It’s a tough act to keep up.

I am addicted to the Kardashians. Yes, I balance it out with Mad Men and CNBC and the NY Times, but there is something about those crazy bitches I can’t get enough of. Go ahead, you can un-bookmark me now πŸ˜‰

Thanks for the invite, Theresa!





16 Responses
  1. May 25, 2012

    thank you for being real.
    i just started following you and b/c of this post will do so forever.
    totally get the phone confession + the worrying.

  2. Judy permalink
    May 25, 2012

    Echoing the comment above. Thanks for sharing. You ARE a good writer and I very much enjoy your blog.

  3. May 25, 2012

    Wow. Totally loved this. I plan on saying something along these lines on my blog on Monday, but I wanted to say it here. So many moving blog posts today, and each time I found myself thinking, me too! me too! We shouldn’t be afraid to share because we find out that sharing connects us, but sharing is scary too! The first two items in your list struck me especially. I feel them both. And I’m addicted to my phone too. Oh, and the exercise bit. Except I’d pick a french fry instead of a cookie.

    Looking forward to coming back here. Have a good weekend, dear. xo

  4. May 25, 2012

    Love your candor. I already have tons of anxiety about what I put out there on the internet and wouldn’t have the balls to do this πŸ™‚

  5. May 25, 2012

    Glad you posted this! I follow a few blogs, vlogs etc… and it’s refreshing to find an adult one. I get the frustration with “sparkly toms” and bad spelling. Keep the posts coming! This 34 year old mother of two is happy you are. πŸ˜‰

  6. May 25, 2012

    You are a good writer. Your writing is what initially grabbed my attention. I did a full stop. Anyway, you know how I feel about your blog. πŸ˜‰
    I hear you on the blogging point. It’s hard. It’s equal parts frustrating and rewarding. I’ve never been in such a tug-and-pull relationship.
    I really can relate to many of the things you bring up. Self-employed worries, staying healthy worries, the worry worries…yup, got that. Plus, I may have committed the their, there, they’re error. Depends how fast I’m typing and trying to get my thought out. I suffer from momnesia, so if I don’t get my point out right away, I might forget it. πŸ˜‰
    For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty amazing! Working mom, instilling great values in her kids, cooking and baking, holding down a blog, working the social media…You’re striving and succeeding. I assure you. πŸ˜‰
    Thank you, thank you! Have a wonderful weekend! xx

    PS~Oh, Amber, I should have emailed you! Doh!

  7. May 25, 2012

    I can’t visit your blog without laughing. Seriously, you have a knack for writing witty and relatable content. You said exactly what I think almost daily re: blogging. Maybe if I just threw up images stolen from the 5 top home decor magazines each week I could have thousands of followers and several design deals in the works. It’s a tough road, but Holly over @decor8 reminded me last year that if you have even 1 person reading, your blog is important to them so you need to do right and keep on keeping on. I hear you on the monthly expenses – we look at everything and have those “how does everyone else make it work” moments – I feel like we should be living fancy/free but we are so far from that. Living in L.A. will siphon your bank account, but I wouldn’t leave for a million bucks (well, right around a million is when I would start considering it). Have a great weekend!!

  8. May 25, 2012

    You hooked me with the cry-it-out shout out in your review of BUB (still need to write my own).

    But you earned my undying devotion with your complaint about the misuse of “their” and its totally unrelated homophones. I devoted a whole post to it. (

    Carry on!

  9. May 26, 2012

    I heard once that when you say “no” to something you’re actually saying “yes” to something else. That gave me a different/better perspective on the whole “no” thing. I too am very out of shape and literally just started going to the gym (gasp) two weeks ago. While I don’t care for the gym environment, I have found enjoyment in fulfilling my workout routine every other day. I know, I watch the Kardashian’s too. Just look at it as though you’re studying how not to raise your kids:)

  10. May 27, 2012

    I loved this! So much of what you say about blogging is exactly how I feel too!

  11. May 27, 2012

    You’re awesome. I’m so glad you shared these things because I can really relate to so many of them. I’ve been on the fence about blogging a lot over the past few months. I just don’t know what I want to do anymore. I keep experimenting and nothing seems to feel right for me. And I’m afraid to stop because I’m afraid of losing my “numbers” — how stupid is that? Really, I want to keep blogging to make connections, to make friends, to write and say what I have to say. But I get so lost in the other stuff.

    And getting in shape is stumping me too. I use food to soothe pain, it’s like a drug and I don’t know how to kick the habit because it’s not something you can quit using cold turkey.

  12. May 29, 2012

    Oh this is my favourite post of the series so far! That just made me laugh so much. I agree, I am envious and cross that all those vacuous airheads get a gazillion hits a month. Well done you for admitting it. All I will say is that take one look at the comments they get ‘i love you’, ‘you’re so pretty’, ‘you’re awesome’. Not exactly inspiring conversation and would you really want that? At least you have women with brains reading your blog. Like me, aherm.

    Liking the Kardashinas however is almost grounds for blog divorce.

    Keep writing, you’re very funny! (oh and your blog name is still my favourite ever). xx

  13. May 31, 2012

    Just dropping by from the cocktail party, sorry I’m late πŸ™‚ You have made me chuckle out lout, you’ve just said everything that the rest of us were thinking, well done for putting it out there.

    I must admit that I’ve never sat through an episode of Kardashians (is that how you spell it?), but we have a simple, nonsensical, waste of time series here called The Only Way Is Essex… And I absolutely love it. Mainly because I’m an Essex girl too and their culture as young people and way of life is an extreme version of what my own was so it’s quite nostalgic.

    I’m a phone addict too, but my teenage children beat me on that score. My eldest can’t even get in the bath without MSN messengering at the same time.

  14. WWGD permalink*
    May 31, 2012

    Ladies — thank you, thank you, thank you. You have no idea what these comments have meant to me. Sincerely.

    Now go on, go tell your friends πŸ˜‰


  15. June 1, 2012

    I am late to the party. Last week was really bad timing for me but love T too much to have
    missed out on this. Hence the delay!

    I remember T’s mini-view on you! Your blog name is the best!:)

    Thank you for your honesty. That idea of the mediocre being the popular ones doesn’t affect me any longer because a) I’m 47 and wiser and b) i figured out it’s really quite unsatisfactory to be boring, mediocre and succesful. They know that they scraped through and at the end of the day they are not internally satisfied;) din’t know whether this made any sense as it’s really late here in the UK;)

    I identify with lots of your stuff, except watching crap TV shows;)

    Happy weekend and thanks for the follow on Twitter x

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