Housewife 101: Chocolate Dump Cake

In this second installment of “Housewife 101” (aka follow along as I learn how to do the most basic domestic tasks for the first time), I introduce you to the wonders of the “dump cake.”

Sounds appetizing, right?

I decided that after the extravagantly amazing birthday bash we threw Little D one week before her birthday, that on her actual day, we would celebrate in simple style with family and homemade cake. Problem is, mama has never made a cake before in her life. So I promptly Googled “easy chocolate cake recipes” and came across this little gem – the dump cake. You just dump all the ingredients into a bowl, blend and cook. Simple enough, right? Well, let’s see…

Ok, step one is assembling the ingredients:

Any old dummy can do that, though it did involve a trip to the grocery store for me. Here’s what you will need:

• 2 cup(s) all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 cup(s) whole milk
• 2/3 cup(s) granulated sugar
• 2/3 cup(s) dark brown sugar
• 1/2 cup(s) unsweetened cocoa
• 3/4 cup(s) butter
• 3 large eggs
• 2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon(s) baking powder
• 1 teaspoon(s) baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon(s) salt

Step two: dump. That I can do:

Step three: blend. On it:

Step four: ok, this stressed me out a bit. I had to prepare two 8-inch cake pans by lightly brushing them with butter and then coating them in flour, shaking off the excess. I am telling you, I am a novice. This kind of stuff stresses me out. But it worked just fine:

Step five: pour into pan. I am feeling like Nigella Freakin Lawson at this point.

Then I reference the recipe and read this: “Bake on the middle rack of the oven until the tops spring back when lightly touched.” That’s it. No time. WTF. I read it out loud to skater hubs to make sure I am not missing something obvious. Nope, no time. So in go the cakes, on goes the oven light and goodbye goes the next 20 or so minutes of my life, while I sit there and watch it bake. Paint drying sounds pretty freaking exciting right about now.

Step six: stare in wonderment at the beautiful cake you just baked. Pat yourself on the back:

Step seven: cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Then invert the pan and completely cool on wire rack. That didn’t go so well:

But that’s ok, because next up is frosting! I can cover that hot mess right up.

Here is what you’ll need:

• 8 ounce(s) cream cheese, softened
• 4 tablespoon(s) (1/2 stick) butter, softened
• 3 tablespoon(s) whole milk
• 3 cup(s) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
• 2/3 cup(s) cocoa
• 1/8 teaspoon(s) salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract

*All photos taken with Instagram