The Dichotomy of Six
Little D turned six in April.
Up until this point, my little girl has been decidedly “un-girly.” She preferred robots to dolls, blue to pink, and playing soccer with the boys over hairdresser with the girls any day…the only hair style she opted for was a ponytail, after all, what was the point beyond that?
Moms of “girly” girls would tell me they were envious. I was so lucky I could avoid the wrath of the Disney princesses, meltdowns over glitter TOMS, closets bursting at the seams with tutus.
But I would be lying if I didn’t admit there was a small part of me that didn’t occasionally look at the closet of unworn dresses gathering dust and wish for a little more girly in my girl.
Then I would look back at her wide eyes, amazing imagination, elaborate tales of pirates and dragons and that darn ponytail and simply think she was perfect as she was.
Those moms were right to be envious.
Well, now she’s six.
She is being invited to all-girl parties and being left out of the boys’ ones. She is watching me put on my lipstick with a more curious eye. She feels the boys on the schoolyard edging away from her into a circle of boyness that she can’t seem to penetrate, no matter how many dragons she has slayed. She actually dressed up in a tutu (yes, we had a lone one that was gifted to her years ago) while playing in her room the other day.
While she is busy trying to find herself, the world around her is helping her do it in strange ways that she welcomes on some days and rejects on others.
In September, she will be starting at a new school. With new kids. New boys and new girls. Some will race cars and some will play with Barbies. And Little D will probably want to do both. And I just hope with my whole being that she can do that. And feel comfortable and cool and amazing and included, no matter who she is with or what she is doing. And I hope she will make other kids feel the same.
Because I think being six is tougher than I remember. For girls, for boys and maybe most of all…for moms. Those who are envious or not.