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Two is the loneliest number…

2010 October 13

When I was pregnant with Little D, it was all I thought about, 24/7.

Put toothpaste on toothbrush. I am pregnant. Eat some toast. I am pregnant. Sit in brainstorm. I am pregnant. Watch Real Housewives of Somewhere. I am pregnant. I panicked over prosciutto, agonized over autism, and basically lost it over “leaking” that turned out to simply be a very overactive bladder. Doctor’s appointments were highlighted and circled on my calendar and the four weeks in between felt like eternity.

Every day of that ten-month stint was consumed with thoughts of pregnancy, baby, birth – and repeat.

So when I happily found myself peeing on a stick again about seven months ago, I assumed my pre-natal brain would go back into overdrive and prepared myself for the ride.

But then hours went by without me thinking about it. I munched on feta without checking the label. Painted my toe nails without a care in the world. Missed a few pre-natal vitamins here and there. Even the doctor’s appointments somehow managed to creep on me — oh, is it time to see Dr. S again ALREADY?

I feel awful. I am so excited and elated for this new little arrival – even more so than I was the first time, in all honesty – and yet, it seems like numero deux, as we have so affectionately dubbed it, has become an afterthought in my day-to-day life. Between Little D, work, and life in general, I simply cannot indulge in selfish thoughts about my ever-changing waistline and hormonal fluctuations all day long. I can’t fantasize about how to decorate a nursery because I know that in those first few months, the only things that really matter are onesies and the breast pump. And I can’t dream about all the adorable stuffed animals from FAO Schwarz that I am going to load onto my kid, because I am too busy picking up the ones already cluttering my house.

So where does that leave little deux??

Well, he/she has gone and picked Christmas Day as a due date, so clearly a lack of attention is in its DNA. Along with a little red wine…maybe 😉

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