Having a baby changes everything. No, for real.
I know the whole point of this blog is to focus on how I try to maintain a cool, fun, interesting life, even with a sometimes screaming toddler tied to my hip. But about a year ago, I woke up one day and realized that life really does change after this little person joins your team, and there is no way back to home base.
I moved to LA six years ago and had my eye on the prize – cool job, nice car, make a name for myself in a city full of names. It was a nice, neat to-do list and I promptly went about checking off each milestone until I landed my dream gig with one of the biggest and best PR agencies in town. From the very first day I walked into the glorious, glass-encased offices (think Ari-style on Entourage), I loved it. I had made it. Working with smart, creative people, on great accounts, with great support. I saw things most people will never see, met people most people will never meet, and found myself in places most people can only dream of.
And then, a few years in, after a stiff margarita and a few days of denial, I peed on a stick. Or maybe three.
Ok, I can do this. I can be that multi-tasking executive mommy extraordinaire – a baby doll in one hand and a Blackberry in the other. And I did it. Didn’t miss a meeting, a brainstorm, or a red carpet. For a little over a year. And then, I would come home after what felt like eons stuck in traffic on Santa Monica Blvd, and Little D would give me a smile and go back to her beloved Daddy, who had been around all day. And I would miss mommy and me groups, because they were all scheduled during the workday. And frankly, I was just too tired. From it all.
So I decided to become a mommy extraordinaire instead and quit my dream job to strike out on my own, work from home, and chase some much-needed balance and QT with my little cutie. It was sad, it was scary, and some days it felt like the wrong thing to do. And truthfully, I still answer to my iPhone more than most. And I do opt for client meetings over toddler gym frequently. And when the occasional red carpet gig comes calling, I don’t pass it up. But if I want to skip out on a conference call and play in the park for an hour, I can. And Little D gets to say bye to me every morning before she heads out with her nanny. And tell me what she wants for lunch when she gets back. So, yes, having a baby does change everything, no matter how hard we try – but I’d still like to think my name means something in this crazy town. I sure know it means something here at home.